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Cooties Spokesman
CS

Gender

Male

Likes

Unknown

Dislikes

Cooties
Liars

First Appearance

Health

Portrayed by

Christopher Meloni

The Cooties Spokesman is a man that discusses the dangers of cooties.

AppearanceEdit

He talks about cooties in a public service announcement. He describes how three million children are infected every year, and thought it may not be fatal, it will kill you. Cooties attaches itself to your skin, then travels to your brain; Cooties turns your brain into mush, your nipples into lips, and your dreams into screams.

Don't treat people with cooties like lesser people, because they aren't even people. He ends the PSA by telling children to be safe, by wearing cootie-proof body condoms.

DreamEdit

Him had a dream where the Cooties Spokesman warns about the growing cootie pandemic, and explains that the PSA was made possible by a donation from Chewties. After the Chewties commericial, the spokesman reveals that the pandemic had doubled. And that it is all Him's fault.

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