Black People

First Appearance


Portrayed by

Judah Friedlander

Crickey is an actor on Horse Apples.


He wears a stained white sleeveless shirt, jean shorts, and socks with holes in them. A fishing hat covers his unkempt hair, and he has a stubble beard.


He owns his own boat, the S.S. There Are Limits, which he uses to go fishing. He also doesn't know how he'd drag himself behind his truck if white people were the minority in the US.

His wife wanted to teach him soccer ("sock her"), so he punched her in the face. As well, his sister wanted to play poker with him, so he punched her in the face. His mother was dying very slowly, from him punching her in the face.

He has a metal plate in his head, so now he has something to eat his wife off of; she's some fine china. Trying to be with the times, he is also considering buying a cellphone, or a pine cone. He wipes his food before he eats it, so he doesn't have to wipe after he poo-poos.

His father is always making new medicine to help his crippled sister, and he licks her too. He also believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.


  • He killed a hooker once.
  • He wants to feel Dr. Rawstien's nuts on his stomach.
  • Punching people in the face is the only way he knows to express himself.
  • In a deleted scene, he explains that his collar may be blue, but so is his butthole. He hasn't had anything but love in a month.

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