Pastor Pigmeat




The Bible



First Appearance


Portrayed by

Will Oldham

Pastor Pigmeat is an actor on Horse Apples.


He wears a black suit, white collared shirt, black tie, and an upside-down cross. He has a light brown moustache and goatee.


In his biblical research he went to the zoo to study the monkeys. However, there was so much flinging of feces, that the monkeys woke up and started to throw it back.

As well, he knows that every 18 seconds a woman is abused by her husband. He wants to go out and find his woman, and stop her from sassing off to her man in the first place. He prayed to God to help his sister who is too fat. She's so fat, that the last time he ate her he had to get a doggy bag halfway through.

He also believes in reversing racism, which is when he backs up into the Mexican who stole his job. He likes his women like he likes his beer, with nuts. 

He was considering getting a swastika tattooed on his forehead, but he hadn't thought about why.


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